Back on track

So I haven't been updating lately like I should, I've decided to start blogging my weight loss more regularly. I think it helps me to stay motivated!!

The past couple of months I fell of the train and I'm trying to get back on track. It's been not that good since the beginning of December. I have not been as careful with my food intake. And recently I have been catching myself snacking a lot late at night. The next day I would do harder cardio to try and make up for what I ate. On Wednesday I finally told Jason that I haven't been doing good on my nutrition. Then I went to the gym did 1 hour and 20 minutes of cadio, I ran 5 miles and did 20 minutes of the stair climber. When I got done and got to my car I just lost it. I had no clue why I was crying, my emotions were running wild. I didn't want to be a failure to myself, friends and family, I worked so hard and have come so far. I also didn't want to disappoint Jason I have always fought so hard and was so motivated. I think I some of the reason I was crying was because I finally told Jason and it was like weight was lifted off my shoulders, a relief!! I was talking with Jason and he said woman eat of emotion and said maybe I was eating to fill a hole, So now I have to figure out what that is. He also says sometimes people hit a wall, we just have to get back up and fight harder. He said to look how far I have came. The thing is though when I look in the mirror I don't see myself as any different, maybe in my face but when I look at my body I see it the same. He was telling me it's like people that are anorexic they look in the mirror and they see a fat person. I told him I don't want to be like that. He asked me what the problem is then? He said I have came so far and I should be happy and realize my accomplishments. It really made me think, I have to learn to be happy with how far I have came. And to quit stressing over the wall that I have hit, I'm a fighter and I'm going to keep fighting!!

We did measurements yesterday and I gained 1.5 percent body fat, that was really hard for me to see! It shows me how fast I could gain it all back. So now I'm back to being focused and motivated!! He had me put the scale away I can not step on it for 3 weeks, he's trying to eliminate the stress. So here we go!!! The more I lose the harder it gets, and the harder I'm going to fight!!!